The Superior Theory

I’ve formed a theory over the last eight years as I’ve seen struggle in the world, in families, and in personal lives. I call it the “Superior Theory.”

I know that’s a pretentious name. How can I come up with a superior theory when the best Einstein did was a theory of relativity? 

To not see me as a self serving theorist, you should know that “Superior” is a pronoun in this case, not an adjective.  

My theory is this:

“To avoid poor decisions that lead to difficult circumstances, a person needs a superior they trust enough to correct them.”

We live in a world where the idea of a “superior” has such a negative connotation. It should be noted that a “superior” can be that way in any sense and doesn’t need to be negative only. It could be a boss or a commanding officer.  It could be a family member, your mother, or a church leader. 

I’ve seen that many poor decisions are made when we no longer answer to anyone. 

A person may be in one of the following circumstances:

• Wealth has placed them where a boss no longer reigns in their schedule or work ethic. 
• Broken trust has removed their spouse as a source of caring and stewardship. 
• A parent has not kept their “sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to…observe the commandments of God.”

There are a number of situations that remove a trusted superior. 

Superiors in my life

I have a friend who I’ve known since my childhood. In all our years of fun and growing, I’ve never heard him say a word of gossip or compromise his standards in any way. If he were to pull me aside and point out a lapse in my judgement, I would make the correction without any debate. With me, he’s earned that right. He is my character superior. 

My wife is the most caring spouse in all the world. (Sorry to break it to you, but you all are welcome to argue second place. That’s not a bad spouse to have either.) In all our years, I have never seen hesitation from her to make our marriage and our family the top priority in her life. If she were to ask of me a favor or expect more from me as a father, I would respond without hesitation. She is my superior in kindness and dedication to eternal families. 

How to find superiors

A superior is not forced. It can’t be.  A superior is found and earned. 

You need to build relationships with actual people. Netflix and candy crush are never going to lift you up and build a life long relationship.  Surround yourself with good people. Receive church and work assignments and sit in council and learn about others. Serve neighbors. Be mindful of family members. 

Look for someone you respect and has proven reliable and wise. Seek their council. Share your shortcomings. 

Why we need superiors

It’s important to learn deference to others. Again, not in any unrighteous way.  In an actual, humble, reverenced way. It’s an incredible relief when done right. It gives you courage to move along in life because you know you have people to catch you.

Who in your life do you trust enough to correct you?